The Lonely
by blueskyroxx
Summary: This isn't another cliche story about Natsu and his team to hatefully and forcefully tell Lucy to leave their team. Natsu tells her what he feels about her strength carefully, but it comes out wrong and Lucy realizes many things about life. And her life goes downhill and her emotions spin out of control after traumatizing events.
1. Chapter 1

**Lucy's POV**

I realized that it hurt more when people care about you. I realized that it hurts when people care about your feelings, and they let you leave their group willingly. It hurts to make choices. It hurts to make decisions. It hurts to think.

"_Hey Luigi!" I heard from across the bar. Natsu._

"_Yeah?" I asked, wondering what he wanted from me now. Maybe another mission._

"_Come with me! I've got something private to tell ya, if you know what I mean," he answered, making a motion to come towards him._

"_Uh sure, but I don't get what you want to ask me," I replied, walking towards him, my feet clacking against the wooden boards underneath me._

"_I want to ask if you wanted to leave Team Natsu. It's just that lately, I think that it's better if you solo…you know. To gain more strength and be uber strong! I'll wait for you to be uber strong, so when you do, come back and challenge me, okay?" he asked…more like stated. He implied I was weak. He didn't want me on his team anymore_

_Happy didn't seem to notice. He continued to eat his fish like he normally did. He continued to seem calm. And I looked down and saw this was real. He wanted me off his team. But who would he get to replace me?  
>"Who's going to be on your team in my place?" I asked, my voice cracking.<em>

"_Uh, Lisanna. Don't worry, she'll only take it for a little while, and then you'll be back on the team!" he stated, as if it was easy to kick one from your group._

_He made this seem easy. It wasn't even a decision. I couldn't beg to stay, or I would seem weak. He smiled so innocently, like he was doing nothing wrong. I wondered…why does he think that this is right?_

I stared at the wooden wall, punching it several times. Natsu was punching a dummy with his fire dragon slayer moves, easily making several holes in it. I'm sorry that I'm not strong as a dragon slayer. I'm sorry I'm not a dragon slayer. I'm incompetent at magic. Not strong enough. I need to learn strength. I need to have my keys teach me the ways of battle. All these battles I've had so far…were they too weak for Natsu? He was always injured in these battles, but he was able to stand up again. Maybe that's what Natsu means. Maybe I just need to be stubborn again.

Before I could open my mouth to ask him something, I could see Lisanna walk over to him and congratulate him, handing him a towel and pop. Why do I have this pang of hurt in my heart? Was it jealousy? Nonetheless, it hurt. And I wished it didn't anymore. I wish I could forget it didn't happen. I hope we can still be friends, no matter how long it takes for me to get stronger.

"We're still friends, right?" I ask.

"Of course, Luigi! Don't worry, we're nakama! We're friends!" He smiled, laughing out loud.

And for some reason, I didn't believe him. Or maybe I just didn't believe in myself. It seemed like he didn't care that he kicked me out of his team. Maybe I'm taking this wrong. It still hurt my heart though. How many hits can my heart take before it eventually breaks?

I remember back to the time where I went to my father's guild and heard he died. I cried hard at home. I was truly alone now. Does no one remember that he died? Does no one know that I'm alone? I stare to the ground, sighing. I can't mope over being kicked out of my team and being alone. I'll take some jobs to relieve stress. I look at the job list, and realized that most of them were hard. I didn't do any jobs without Natsu. I didn't do any jobs without someone else. And I was truly alone.

Why did I feel betrayed? Like Natsu had hit me behind the back, or pushed me off the cliff to save his life? I'm taking this wrong. I shook my head, snapping inwardly at myself. Stop thinking about the negative parts. Look at the bright side, I can get stronger…and I was weak right now. Wherever I looked, I still felt gloomy and sad. I stared at Lisanna for a while, watching her laugh and smile. Being replaced didn't feel nice. Maybe that's what she felt when I was in his team instead of her. And now she has her rightful place back. Maybe Natsu didn't want me to get strong at all. Maybe it was just to get me out of the team so Lisanna could be back, and their team would be a whole again. Maybe I'm no longer needed. I'm the replacement for Lisanna. And now that Lisanna is back, no one wants to talk to me. Everyone just wants to talk to Lisanna. And I could feel jealousy beating into my heart more than ever.

I walked home after that. I couldn't mope around Fairy Tail anymore. It was time to move on. I walked towards the Heartfillia property, which was now empty. Dad's money was reserved for me, and I watched as the Heartfillia house was partially destroyed. They were breaking down everything I used to love. I watched as they tore down Mother's statue. No. Not her.

"DON'T TAKE HER DOWN! PLEASE!" I screamed, running towards the machine and waving my arms like mad.

They didn't stop. They didn't listen. They just continued to smash it. They continued to break it. And all that was really left of the Heartfillia property were my used dresses. I cried endlessly back at my apartment when I got back. Mom wasn't home anymore. I didn't have a home anymore. There was nowhere to go in time of need. Now there was only the lonely me.

I touched the door of my apartment room. I leaned my back against it, putting most of my weight against the door and ground. I stretched my legs. My face was still wet from tears, and I suddenly felt sleepy. I closed my eyes and heard a quiet lullaby. Mama? Papa? _Lucy…we'll always be in your heart. Remember that you are never truly alone._


	2. Chapter 2: A New Friend?

I just stared. I didn't know how long I sat, moping and sobbing with my back leaned against my only way to exit. I sighed, my tears dried but I still felt an ache in my heart. I wondered how long I sat there, it seemed like hours to me. But I eventually had to get up. I had to walk on my two feet. I don't need to be dependent anymore. I need to trust myself more than others. That way, my emotions will be shut inside.

I took a job. It was to defeat a Drakon, a nasty dragon-like creature. It wasn't huge like a dragon, but they were mean and hard to kill. They were trouble-makers, but normally you wouldn't expect one to be in civilian areas. This had a high pay, so it was worth it. But it could've been sent anywhere, so there might be people already on the job. But it didn't matter, I'd just beat it beforehand.

I entered the train to Dawn City. It would take approximately a week, a lot of time for me to get over the feeling of betrayal and jealousy that I felt. I sat in the furthest room of the train, staring outside.

It's already been two days. I've stayed on the train for a while, and Dawn City was only a few minutes away.

"_All passengers, we are arriving at Dawn City. Please get your luggage ready for departure,"_ a female monotone voice said.

Finally. It's been two freaking days just to get to Dawn City, and it'll be two days just to get back. That would mean I had two days to track the Drakon and defeat it before someone else takes the job. I grabbed my luggage and watched the doors to Dawn City open. I rushed out, a calming breeze hitting me. It was a cool breeze in a hot day, and I could see tons of people walking on the streets. The drakon wouldn't dare attack in the mass of people. Probably somewhere in a park…

I walked inside the Enchanted Forest park. It was a piece of land that the city kept for tourist attraction, and I realized why. The trees had fruit that glowed glamorously. There were birds that chirped beautiful melodies across the entire park. The wind was calming, soothing. It seemed like nothing was wrong with this world. If I could stay in here, then nothing else would matter. But my problems rushed back to me like being shot in the head.

I could smell the scent of…something rotting. I walked forward quietly, starting to crouch. I avoided branches and bushes, they'd make noise if I stepped on them. The stench was really strong. I took a quick glance, and something dark catched my eye. The drakon. It's been a few hours, and I finally found it. I crept towards it, reaching for my keys with my left hand my whip with my right. The stench grew stronger with each step I took closer. The drakon was pitch black, its claws were black and it was asleep. Its teeth hung out, sharp and nasty. What was that stench?

I froze. I stared past the drakon, into the cave. That was where the stench was coming from. I cried out, summoning Leo and grabbing my whip, causing the beast to wake.

"OPEN, GATE OF THE LION, LEO!" I screamed.

A bright light shone, and temporarily blinded the beast. I instantly started to run towards it, unleashing my whip's fury onto it. But the whip didn't seem to do much. All it did was cause a few lashes, but it didn't seem to be bothered too much by it. It turned to Leo. _Crap._ I lashed at its face, and it grabbed my whip, and threw it. I didn't let go in time. Before I knew it, I was soaring through the air. Leo ran forward to catch me, but the drakon was too fast and hit him out of the way. Before the ground rushed up to meet me, I could see the drakon's wings. It didn't have any. They were ripped out. No wonder it couldn't leave. Before any other thoughts processed my mind, I heard a loud crunch before everything turned black.

Everything hurt. I opened my eyes groggily, and saw darkness. Was I dead? Did I fail to kill the drakon? A strong stench filled my nose, snapping me awake. It was the stench of rot. I could barely move, and I couldn't feel my arm. I turned my head a little, and froze. It was staring at me. Leo's key was at my side again, as if he carried me. Or it could've been the drakon gave it to me. Maybe these were my last moments alive. I closed my eyes waiting for the final…chomp to end my life. But I still didn't feel anything. I opened one eye, and watched as the drakon continued to stare at me, tilting its head as if it thought I was playing dead.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked, knowing full well that it couldn't talk my language. It's a drakon, so it probably has a drakon language. I sighed. Was I going to be stuck in this cave, crippled and waiting for this drakon to finish me?

"Well, we might as well know each other. My name is Lucy Heartfillia," I said with a croaky voice, reaching my hand towards it.

It moved forward, and put its head under my hand. And even with my injuries, all I could do was simply smile at it.


	3. Chapter 3: Emotionless Soul

I took a quick glance at Luna. I decided to name the drakon Luna. She seemed to like it, compared to the boy names I've given her. I just realized that I hadn't really paid attention to her features. Her scales were pitch back, but when the moon shined on them, they reflected the light. When she lurks in the dark, it seems as if nothing is there, but there she is, hunting you down like prey. I had a feeling we've developed a friendship…and I realized what the stench was.

Dead animal bodies. I've been so worried that they were human bodies…but I guess not. I'm fully healed now, it's been weeks since I've been back to Fairy Tail. I sighed, it really has been a long time since I've been back there. Maybe they think I'm dead. Maybe they don't remember me. It didn't matter, because Luna was there for me.

I took my keys and put them in my pocket. I smiled, taking a look at Luna.

"I have to go now, Luna! I'll see you later!" I said, waving my hand and turned to leave.

But she dashed in front of me, and stayed there, blocking my way.

"What, you want to come?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

Luna somewhat nodded, and put her tail around me. I laughed, and jumped onto her. I pulled myself into a sitting position on her, scratching underneath her head. She somewhat half purred, half growled, jumping up in delight. I patted her, and she started to move forward. I've never ridden a horse before, and definitely not a drakon.

"I'll lead the way. You only have to follow," I said, touching the front of her head.

She started to move forward. I felt shaky, uneasy. It was probably because I've stayed in that cave for so long, that I've been accustomed to it. Now, I'm leaving that cave. Luna looked nervous, more nervous than me. I wondered. Was I doing her harm, making her leave her home? But she continued to move forward.

I touched her scales, running my hands over them smoothly. They were hard, meant to be protective over her somewhat delicate skin. And then she stopped moving. I got off of her, and stared. She was staring left and right, looking as if she wanted to run. I pet her head, and looked in front of me. Figures emerged from the bushes of the trees.

"Natsu," I said, my voice cracking.

Why now, of all times? I've been prepared to go back, but not to see him come to me. Did he think I was dead?

"Lucy! Here you are! You've been gone since forever! Lisanna's with us too, I thought you disappeared or something! I came here to kill the drakon, but I didn't expect you to be on the job too!" Natsu yelled, waving his arms madly.

Somehow, those words brought me despair and anguish more than happiness. He had come here for the job I took, not for me. I held back tears that grew on the rims of my eyes, covering my face with my bangs. Luna seemed to growl and whimper, as if knowing what I felt. But she didn't. I stepped in front of Luna, protective.

"Lucy? Hey! Isn't that the drakon?!" Natsu hollered, pointing fingers at her.

"She's my friend now…" I said.

"Having a drakon for a friend is weird," he replied, scratching his head.

It's not weird. It's weird how Natsu hasn't caught on about anything. On how it hurts. But he's too oblivious to notice. And I had already realized. I should've thought about it before, but my feelings interfered with my thinking process.

"Natsu, please don't kill her. She's my friend now," I said, petting her head as she lightly growled at them.

"Fine…" he replied, scratching the back of his head, and tilting it.

I turned around, and saw him chatting with everyone else, explaining things. Erza seemed mad at first, but her expression quickly changed to a pitiful face. Gray just shrugged and walked away. Lisanna stared at me, and gave me a disappointed look. A disappointed look. A flash of anger exploded inside of me, like a twig snapping. I smiled.

"Hey Luna. Why don't you play tag with them?" I said, pointing at Lisanna.

Natsu caught on, and dashed towards Luna in a hurried fashion to stop it from placing a chomp onto Lisanna. Of course, Luna was faster.

"HEY!" Natsu yelled, calling for backup.

They hesitated, and stared at me for a while, disbelieving that I would try to dare hurt Lisanna. They hurt me. They didn't comfort me either. Are they my nakama? I don't even know anymore. Even though it was mostly Natsu, I thought they would catch on about my hurt feelings. I guess they didn't. Maybe I shouldn't feel anymore. Maybe I shouldn't feel the pain. I don't want to anymore. And I won't.

It was a flick of a switch. I didn't feel anything. I felt empty. I didn't feel like bawling in front of them anymore. I didn't feel like doing anything, I just felt soulless. But it was better than having feelings.

"Nevermind. I thought I felt angry because Lisanna gave me this really weird stare. I guess I'm not anymore," I said.

I didn't really believe my words. They didn't either.

"We'll have to get you to Master to talk about this…" Natsu said, hugging Lisanna as she quietly sobbed from trauma.

And for some reason, I just started laughing. It wasn't the cheerful kind of laugh. It was the kind of laugh where you were sad and felt crazy, but you continued to laugh. Maniac giggles left my throat before I could suppress them.

"You say you're going to get me to master to talk about this?! AHAAH! Well I guess it's too bad," I said, grabbing a knife.

Everyone suddenly prepared their magic, ready to jump at me. I just giggled. And I slashed my knife against the Fairy Tail mark, engraving a large X on it. Soon enough, the blood had spilled all over my hand, and it didn't hurt as much.

"I'm not a Fairy Tail member anymore. I don't want to be anymore. Don't worry, I know the rules. Don't spread information about Fairy Tail and so on, so forth."

"Wai-"

"Stop it. I don't want to hear you anymore. I don't want to see you. Just the sight of you guys irritates me. I'm sorry I had to go to this extent…but I can't handle this anymore," I said, hiding my growing tears behind my bangs.

"Goodbye, Fairy Tail. Goodbye," I said, walking away with Luna.


End file.
